Half Girlfriend – You Will Come Out Only Half Alive

Coexistence of humans, wild animals and mother nature is much needed case at this moment and several campaigns are already going on to protect our environment; Alia Bhatt has also recently became a part of such campaign called “Let’s Coexist”. Speaking of coexistence, there is a coexistence of different types of cinema clans in our Bollywood industry too. There are film-making enthusiasts who collaborate and create movies like Anaarkali of Aarah, a movie with stellar acting and gripping script, Hindi Medium, a film in which even supporting actors are as vibrant as the lead characters; and then there are flag bearers of nepotism who keep working on seasonal projects all year long. Ladies and gentlemen, Shraddha Dumb Kapoor, Arjun Sloppy Kapoor and the godfather of such great ‘actors’ Mohit “too chilled to care” Suri are here again with a blockbuster feature film which mocks all the logic and numb all the human’s ability to think. Oh, pardon me for skipping Chetan sir, a great writer who can tow a poor guy from any backward rural Indian setting and an elite girl belonging to a metro city, brought up in a high-class family.

Shraddha Kapoor posted a day before the release, “Tomorrow our film releases, it’s taken 2 years to make. Really hope you all love it.” Needless to say that the cute diva lives in a completely deluded world of her own where she takes 2 years to prep up and still can’t properly pronounce a word as simple as “Dilli”. After watching the movie, I got the point of putting in 2 years, because it is not an easy task to chop off all the concepts of sanity and rationality and then crushing them into small pieces and finally grind them into a fine concoction. Taking down the dignity of entire Bihar and calling Bill gates to star in the movie (Yes, it happened) do not happen in less than at least 2 years. 

Half Girlfriend is a magical movie in which things happen magically so you can take out your brain for 2 hours and 15 mins and place it on the floor while you watch the movie. Being a Chetan Bhagat production, career is the biggest joke in the movie which is extremely denouncing for the hard working students who put in blood and sweat to complete a professional course in India only to be left jobless in the end. This manifestation of wishful thinking is highly condemnable. The heroin is a dynamic basket ball player in college and studies some course (not clear) then magically becomes a sales manager in Close Up India who only talks about taking the brand into the moon on calls and attend high-profile meetings. The closest friend of Madhav Jha (Arjun Kapoor), Shailesh (Vikrant Massey) who studies sociology in St. Stephen’s College and believes that if a girl is loyal only if she is ready for sex within maximum 2 weeks of relationship, magically becomes something big (which isn’t mentioned again) down the line after few years and owns a humongous house in the center of NYC with a huge terrace and well-equipped private bar. And ya a beautiful foreigner wife who loves him unconditionally. On the other hand, Madhav Jha grabs an internship with Bill Gates Foundation in NYC. These unfathomable transitions are justified with 2 mins flashbacks picturing how someone accidently meets Bill Gates and impresses on the spot and gets offered an internship or job instantly.

Chetan Bhagat who is a graduate and postgraduate from IIT and IIM himself mocks education and laborious studies and tear them into shreds in the most disgusting manner. Tell me who on earth is that student that comes to check his name on the final admission list but prefers to dance in the rain first? Chetan, can you even imagine the pressure of selection in the admission list of one of the most prestigious colleges of DU???? The cute Riya Somani’s (Shraddha Kapoor) dumbness isn’t limited to this only? Has anyone of you ever visited or got a chance to visit India Gate’s terrace in life???? They don’t even allow you to go very closer to the main premises, the security is impregnable. But, it is Riya Somani’s hobby to sit on India Gate’s terrace whenever she wants to escape from her personal issues. She just disguises the security guards and climbs the steps and boom! She is there. Can you even imagine it? Needless to say that it’s only her body which is ageing not her brain. If Chetan is a blockhead, Shraddha could have refused doing such a senseless scene, couldn’t she??? And I am proud in saying that even Beiber’s lip syncing was better than her when she touts her mouth like the most innocent and tragic singer but the actual song playing in the background is a Taylor like number.

All about Shraddha Kapoor’s incomparable dumbness, this doesn’t mean her club-buddy Arjun Kapoor is a stud himself. Inflated to an extent from where his body is only gonna burst with even an ounce of more flesh, he is just a douchebag. If oscillating your head like worm while speaking your very own pathetic version of a dialect is being stud, then he is the biggest stud of them all. You will develop the purest form of hate and scorn that if by chance you ever spot him in your life, you would instantly want to punch him in the face the hardest you can.

I strongly support coexistence of humans, sustainable products and mother nature, but please outstanding filmmakers, for the love of bhagwan Vishnu and Mata Durga, please don’t pass such movies to be released on theaters for public. Enjoy them in your own bedroom instead.

I cannot speak anything about the story because I couldn’t make anything out of it myself. However, what little I have understood is that this is a downright morale hitting and pervert idea of coming-of-age romance which will only make even the dustbin dirtier. A boy who is brought up by a single mother who always taught him to defeat the defeat instead of get defeated, finds his motive of education at once in a girl who he sees in a basket ball court. From there, fight of getting his equal right which is only being in bed together, begins. The favorite enigma of bollywood when it doesn’t find any reason to make a character specially heroin appear a wretched and helpless person, dysfunctional family is the solution. The outline which my entire understanding could get is, first dysfunctional family then broken marriage, Riya Somani keeps running away from her life problems, while Madhav Jha is determined to get her company even for one day if he can. The special appearance of Bill Gates is just like that line from Honey Singh’s wrap, “Teri Meri Story Jaise Big Bang Theory.” You can surely go and watch if you have nothing to do than pulling your hair, rolling on the floor like retard and talking to wall for the rest of the day.
Half Girlfriend Movie Review

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